#STRUGGLES

noun:

a poll taken amongst trolls for decision making

Yesterday, Pinky and I were trolling the gym when we came across a frog.  Instead of walking around the frog and ignoring it like normal people, Pinky chortled and proclaimed that it was doing “stair exercises” while trying to make it hop away by pretending to kick it. Meanwhile, I stood there screaming, “THERE IS A FROG IN THE GYM, PINKY! WE HAVE A SITUATION. WHAT IS THE PROTOCOL?” After our mass hysteria, we realized the frog wasn’t responding to our wails and wanted to be left alone. So, we went back to torturing ourselves on the exercise bikes.

I hate it when the handicap door closes on me.      #lifestruggles

See those dark clouds coming? Maybe it’s going to rain. But you won’t know until it’s too late because you are still carrying around your fossil of a phone. If you had a smartphone, you’d be able to check the weather and not look like a dumb-ass stuck in the rain without an umbrella or coat.  It is time to give in and upgrade. You will no longer be the fool who doesn’t know the weather. You will be the guy/girl who knows the weather AND where the nearest Starbucks is AND the movie times at the local cinema. COOL.

I couldn’t decided whether to get pasta or grilled cheese and french fries today for lunch so I got both. Then, I got ice cream. But that is not enough for me so I am going to get Starbucks now. Not sorry.